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The Zodiac School

A Hetalia RPG AU with supernatural beings~ Where all types of creatures can come to learn!
 
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 North Italy (student)

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PostSubject: North Italy (student)   North Italy (student) Icon_minitimeWed Dec 29, 2010 9:48 pm

~ North Italy ~
North Italy (student) Zerochan.North.Italy.141780
Full name: Feliciano Vargas
Age: 17
Hometown: (don't know) Italy
Creature: Vampire
Favourite Subject: Food class
Extra Details:
Physical description:He has Brown hair but looks like its Auburn, Eyes are Brown He is 5' 7" and that he has somewhat pale skin.
Biology: [i]
Vampires are sometimes referred to as "the undead" and sometimes as revenants, reanimated corpses that drink the blood of the living to preserve their own existence. Scholars currently believe that the word vampire derives from the Slavic language spoken in Serbia. For much of history, though, it was the vampire who most daringly crossed and recrossed the borders between the living and the dead.
Personality/Habits :..Feliciano is a hyper active boy. And he loves~ his pasta. And half the time he is very bright.
History: Feliciano was a person that always gone out at night but if he goes out in the morning he has to wear stuff to cover everything. He found out about being a vampire at age 8. It never stopped him for doing stuff so he continue with life. He walked up against a building and realizes its a school so he then applies for this place.
Other Information: no :)
Role Play Sample:Feliciano was walking around the school and grabed his stuff for first hour. On his way there saw the lunch menu and looked it over for todays lunch, when he saw what it was he practically melt in his shoes when he saw it. "PASTAAAAA~!" His class mates and some teachers looked at him like he was crazy. He knew this was going to be a happy day for him. He was jumping up and down through the halls. He went through the whole morning hyper
, His teachers kept on telling hinm to calm down but he wouldn't. When the lunch bell went off he dashed to his locker to put his stuff in it then ran to the lunch room. He wasn't first so he was jumping up and down and couldn't wait for the line to move. and when he went to get his food. there was a sign that said "NO MORE PASTA" so he got a sandwich instead. He walked away and felt like the world was going to end now.
~ O O C I N F O R M A T I O N ~

Your name: Sammi
Age:16
Time-zone: Central time zone in USA
Email/AIM/MSN/Etc: Sakure_goth@yahoo.com
Did you read the rules?: Black ^^
Anything else you want to add: will get on at 4:30 every day cause i have school or work :) or breaks like winter break that stuff I’ll be on when ever.


Last edited by Italy(lilsasu) on Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:12 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Matthew Williams
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Matthew Williams


Posts : 201
Join date : 2010-12-07
Age : 30
Location : Zodiac School

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PostSubject: Re: North Italy (student)   North Italy (student) Icon_minitimeThu Dec 30, 2010 5:11 am

Ohmygosh. I feel so horrible for asking this. You know what you're doing now, but will you please expand on your sentences? I don't think I can accept someone with short sentences like that...

I feel really horrible for saying that. OTL

But if you don't know what I mean, look at the accepted appliactions. A perfect example of this would be Arthur Kirkland's application which you can find in 'Students'. Please go have a look and you'll understand what I mean, ok? You can come back to this application and edit it. And include a hometown for Italy. Like Venice or Rome.

(I must be really pissing you off now, huh.)

Also, read over your RP sample. You need to change things such as 'new' which should have been 'knew'. You also switch tenses halfway through. Please beta your work.
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PostSubject: Re: North Italy (student)   North Italy (student) Icon_minitimeThu Dec 30, 2010 12:02 pm

yea sorry i forgot to fix that one up ^^; no problem at all :)
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Matthew Williams
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Matthew Williams


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PostSubject: Re: North Italy (student)   North Italy (student) Icon_minitimeMon Jan 03, 2011 6:20 pm

ASIDFOSAIDFHSA

Still not enough. Do you want me to make you a list so you can understand easier? Ok:

1 - Give him a Hometown from Italy.
2 - Give details about his personality. Two paragraphs minimum.
3 - Biology. Make sure it matches that of the other vampires (Or...vampire, in this case. The only other vampire is Arthur Kirkland and he's got a different biology to you)
4 - Personality and habits, expand and give details. Two paragraphs minimum.
5 - History. Make sure it matches with Lovino's, who is a teacher. Two paragraphs minimum.
6 - Your grammar isn't as great as I'd prefer. It's passable. But try to make it intersting. But, I must say, I really like how you portray Feli. Very true to the character.

I'm bein' stern here! Because... Because I have high expectations. I'm, like... OHMAHGAWD, I'M YOUNGER THAN YOU. Sorry, i just realised that I'm a year younger than you are, and I'm telling you off or something to that extent. I'm, like, a year above the rest of my English class, doing what the year above should be doing. So... Yeah. :/

Hope you don't take offence or something~

(P.S. Sorry about the paragraph minimum thing. I hate those too... But in applications which state paragraph minimums, I find, helps me to force out more stuff and create a generally better application.)

(P.P.S. I can't have this character on reserve forever, I should put a time-limit on it. 8U If someone else wants this character, you can't babysit all the time. This was originally posted on the 30th of december, I believe, so a week later is the 4... OHGEEZ. OK. YOU HAVE, LIKE, A DAY TO FIX UP YOUR APPLICATION TO PERFECTION. If you want to make sure it's perfect in this time, study other people's applications. It helped with me, so much.)
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Matthew Williams
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Matthew Williams


Posts : 201
Join date : 2010-12-07
Age : 30
Location : Zodiac School

North Italy (student) Empty
PostSubject: Re: North Italy (student)   North Italy (student) Icon_minitimeThu Jan 06, 2011 10:58 am

You didn't meet the deadline... Nor did you redo your application in the extra time I supplied after the deadline... So this is going into the denied folder.
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PostSubject: Re: North Italy (student)   North Italy (student) Icon_minitime

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